Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
