remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize