I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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