I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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