Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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