Redeem this text for a blowjob
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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