I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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