found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
