Swine flu is the new snow day.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
