I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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