And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize