Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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