if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
