Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
