...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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