he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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