just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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