well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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