I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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