lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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