i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
