she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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