So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
