when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
