Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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