Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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