I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
