"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
