She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
