Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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