no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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