Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
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Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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