Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize