I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
