If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
