is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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