I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
