whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
