I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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