I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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