i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
