me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.