I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Will you blow on my dice?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.