Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?