Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high

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  (405): when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high http://tfl.nu/6j5i
  Replies (69) Good night (3483) Bad night (708)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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  (425): There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason. http://tfl.nu/skwm
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

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  (781): I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer... http://tfl.nu/rcmz
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  (936): View more from Texas

  So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward

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  (936): So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward http://tfl.nu/gsii
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  (904): View more from Florida

  She just used a chaser for red wine.

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  (904): She just used a chaser for red wine. http://tfl.nu/vv6f
  Replies (22) Good night (670) Bad night (5613) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award

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  (336): i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award http://tfl.nu/t3kf
  Replies (17) Good night (5860) Bad night (1133) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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  (734): we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas (810): I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick" http://tfl.nu/jn94
  Replies (9) Good night (3648) Bad night (1382)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?

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  (317): Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night? http://tfl.nu/o2wm
  Replies (8) Good night (1525) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair

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  (262): I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair http://tfl.nu/3k67
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??

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  (+44): My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts?? http://tfl.nu/jz5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (294) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.

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  (901): I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad. http://tfl.nu/k439
  Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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  (369): View more from California

  I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.

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  (369): I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter. http://tfl.nu/wfue
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (0) Good night (737) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.

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  (608): either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide. http://tfl.nu/6k1c
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.

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  (405): I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety. (806): That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you. http://tfl.nu/ztvc
  Replies (8) Good night (645) Bad night (156)

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