We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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