Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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