her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
