Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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