i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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