? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
