Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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