so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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