I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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