Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
