it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The dick lei will go down in squad history
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
