You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
