Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
