my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
